


the garden that you planted remains

by Nightblaze



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Closure, Gen, Post-Island, So here we are, i just wanted them to talk things out a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightblaze/pseuds/Nightblaze
Summary: Toni is paying for Takis and an orange Gatorade at a gas station a week later when she sees Regan again.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe, Toni Shalifoe & Regan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 240





	the garden that you planted remains

Toni and Martha fly back to Minnesota together when all’s said and done.

There were tearful goodbyes at the airport before the girls go their separate ways. Toni can still feel the ghost of Shelby’s lips on hers, her arms holding her close, unwilling to let go, hoping with everything in her body that it wouldn’t be the last time they would be this close. She can still hear Shelby whispering, “I love you, I’ll see you again, this isn’t goodbye.”

Toni was terrified to let Shelby go back to Texas, to her scumbag of a father. When they hugged goodbye, Dot told her that she would keep Shelby safe, and while Toni trusted Dot with her life she couldn’t help but worry.

Martha squeezes her hand as their plane touches down. Toni smiles and hopes it doesn’t look as sad as she thinks it does.

They disembark with their meager carry-ons and make the long walk to the end of the gates, where Mrs. Blackburn will be waiting for them. Martha’s excited, with a grin on her face Toni should find infectious but all she can think about is how there is nobody waiting for  _ her.  _ Mrs. Blackburn loves her like a daughter, but her foster parents couldn’t make it (code for they just didn’t care enough to), and it isn’t like her mom even knows anything about the island.

Toni tries not to feel hurt when Martha lets go of her hand at the first sight of her mother, and she watches as Mrs. Blackburn throws her arms around her and they both start to cry. Toni takes her time walking over to them, but when she gets there, they wrap her up in a hug.

The drive from the Minneapolis-Saint Paul Airport is long. Martha tells her mother about the island, omitting the gristly and unsightly details (there is no mention of the goat, of the shark attack, of burying Jeanette, of a thousand other things that Toni would rather forget about).

“Toni, tell her about you and Shelby,” Martha prompts. Toni closes her eyes.

“Not now, Marty,” she says because there is an emptiness in her chest and the pain of it gets worse the more she thinks about her bright green eyes, her shaved blonde hair, her sunburnt and wind-chafed skin.

Toni is paying for Takis and an orange Gatorade at a gas station a week later when she sees Regan again. She doesn’t realize it’s her at first, too busy collecting her change from the cashier to spare a glance at a random dark-haired girl.

Regan freezes and stares at her as she dumps the handful of coins into her purse and grabs her food. Toni isn’t in the mood for any sort of shit, so she tones her response down to “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

It’s then when she finally looks up and realizes.

“Toni,” Regan says. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she replies and stands there dumbly. Distantly, she knows they both look like idiots, but all of her thoughts have been completely cut off. The cashier clears his throat, shocking Toni back to reality. “Anyway. Bye.”

She moves to leave, but Regan turns as she brushes by and says, “Can we talk?” 

Two minutes later, they’re sitting outside the gas station and Toni isn’t about to start the conversation (she’s still not sure what Regan wants, in all honesty), so she just waits, watching the sunset paint the sky gold.

“I heard about what happened,” Regan finally settles on. “The island, all that. I’m sorry.” Toni nods. She’s heard this about a thousand times by now, and she’s sure she’s going to hear it at least a thousand more by the end of next week.

“It wasn’t all bad,” Toni says, because really, it wasn’t. Martha would say something about how the darkest nights have the most stars, but Toni’s never been good at words, so she continues, “I mean, it sucked major dick and balls, don’t get me wrong. But there were good moments, too.” She glances over, partially surprised to see that Regan is listening. “I met someone. She’s back in Texas now, but she’s… incredible.”

“What’s her name?” Regan asks without an ounce of bitterness.

“Shelby.” Just saying her name sends Toni spinning into longing. She and Shelby text every day, and call when her father can’t listen in, but it’s not quite the same. She misses her touch, misses being able to hear her laugh without the static, misses seeing her smile without pixelation. “Marty called out my bullshit while we were there, too. I’m really trying to be better. Healthy coping mechanisms or whatever.” Regan nods and smiles and the quiet isn’t exactly  _ uncomfortable  _ but it certainly isn’t comfortable, either, so Toni keeps talking. “I’m sorry about your car. I was so angry and confused and hurt… Not that that’s an excuse. It was really fucked up of me. Especially because of your—”

“It’s okay,” Regan cuts her off quickly. Toni understands. There are some things she wouldn’t want Regan to bring up, either. Things that they felt they could share with each other when they were together, but they’re different people now, and that kind of vulnerability just isn’t possible anymore. “I mean, not okay, but thanks for apologizing. I’m glad you’re working things out.”

The quiet is a little bit easier, but there’s something still nagging Toni. “Did you ever want to break up with me before that night?”

Regan takes a deep breath. “Yeah, a couple times.” Toni closes her eyes, expecting to have to quell her own anger, but is surprised to find that it’s not there. Maybe it’s because she has Shelby now, or maybe hindsight is 20/20 and she can tell she and Regan were never going to work out in the end. Maybe both. “And I didn’t those times because you were already so low. I didn’t want to hurt you any more than you were. I thought I could handle you and keep myself sane at the same time, but I just couldn't anymore.”

“Okay,” Toni says, hoping she sounds as genuine as she feels.

“I really did love you, Toni,” Regan insists. “I wanted it to work out.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Toni almost-laughs. “I get it. Honestly, I do.” It feels impossible, but it’s the truth. Somewhere in the very back of her mind, past-Toni is screaming about broken promises and not trying hard enough and abandonment, but she ignores it. 

Regan turns her head towards where the sun’s just disappeared below the horizon. They both pause to watch the clouds turn from hazy purple to gray, and then Regan stands.

“I have to get going. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Toni’s not sure they’ll ever be able to be friends after everything, but not strangers sounds like a good start, so she smiles and says, “I’ll see you around.”

Her phone buzzes from her pocket a couple minutes after Regan’s car pulls out of the parking lot.

_ [8:44pm] Shelby: How’s your Taki shopping going? _

_ [8:44pm] Toni: it’s been a weird 10 minutes _

_ [8:45pm] Toni: want to call? _

**Author's Note:**

> vaguely projecting onto minor characters is actually something that can be so personal,
> 
> hope you enjoyed! <3


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